Tag Archives: funny

Exercise anyone?

image

Hey y’all!  Can someone tell me where’s this runner’s high?  This addiction to working out?  This “if you do something for 21 days it will become a habit”?  At least when it comes to working out. GIRL BYE! BOY GET ON!  This is me every time I hit the gym.  And though I like the elliptical.  I mean a little ratchet rap or up beat R&B or whatever gets you hype, jump on that elliptical and GET! MY! ENTIRE! LIFE in 45 minutes!  I’m just saying.  Yes. I’m the one in the gym dancing on the elliptical…smh!  Doing too much and not caring.  However, this longing and craving of exercise I often hear people speak about when they miss a gym day, just doesn’t reside in me.

Yes, I feel great when I’m done, but it’s getting to the “done” part that stresses me out. With the kids being out for the summer, I haven’t been able to tackle the gym like I would like, but between you and I, I’m not crying about it. Plus it’s 80/20 diet anyway.  Yes, I do feel some limbs acting up because they’re not getting any exercise, but it’s nothing a quick 3 minute dance to some Trina can’t fix.  That’s really what I need to do is join a dance class, because I’m forever bouncing, twerkin’ and trying to shake a leg.  My gym doesn’t offer classes, but I may need to re-think that since I love to dance.  In the mean-time, just know that’s me in the picture times 10!  Gotta go my glass is empty.

Can anyone relate to me?  You have tips or want to share your exercise highs and lows?  Talk to ya girl!  

LIKE-COMMENT-SUBSCRIBE

Mama! Nooooo!

image

How you look when you realize your arms too short to box with gawd…and the producers won’t let you leave the set.

Baaaaaaaaaaaaaybay!  ok Im not the biggest fan of un-reality tv and I barely get into many of the goings and comings on un-reality tv, but whenever I see a chicken wings flying across the screen and not safely anchored on a plate you have my sincere concern.  And can we agree that everything about this scene was all kinds of hilarious!  Now it may be hilarious for different reasons, my sense of humor is so warped!  I have had to backspace, delete like 20 leven times and I’m only four sentences in!   So I’ll tell you what did it for me and you can tell me yours in the comments.  Lesgo!!!!!

FIRST OF ALL when I saw the the previews I knew this was going to be a good kee kee!  Let’s start with the way her mom went HAM in the spa falling for her daughter’s crocodile tears.  Ok now, help me help you in my 48hr detective voice…You stated you were “around” 3 months pregnant, unfortunately “miscarried”, had a talk with the dr., no D&C, no, hospital soap to wersh up in the basin, no wet wipe, sanitary napkin, hand sanitizer, q-tip…damn girl NOTHING?  Then you want me to believe you were released like bye bitch bye ???  Girl if you don’t get away from me with this bullshat…GIRL BYE! Yes, I know there’s a hint of judgement in my description of her story but, so.

Now, as a mama I know the powerful and swift instinct to protect our young, but protect if it’s truly a case of bullying and not because she’s being called to the carpet on her bullshat. However, as parents we often only see “our baby” and not the heifer or heifo they truly are. Let’s move on, so we agree to meet and hash it out which by now you know on un-reality tv, them producers tell you how the fight is posta go…please don’t think for one minute nothing is un-orchestrated IMO of course.  You have on your lil summer coral ensemble, and your easter Sunday press with 2 packets of cherry kool aid for coloring for personality, ready to plead your case, sticking to the  “I did this from my heart bew” speech you rehearsed in the car all the way to the spot, but STOP! Mama came up in there on READY SET GO!  Juicy speech fell on deaf ears because mama just went KABOOM BATCH! HA!  She came up in their with her guns loaded like she was on her open and carry tip and Juicy said HANDS UP DON’T SHOOT!!! Girrrrrrrrrrl I hollered!

Juicy tried hard to contain her fear with that nervous laugh and was prol’ thinking with the cameras there she probably would have some help but we know these producers be like “if she’s not bleeding keep rolling” If you ask me, I swear I saw Juicy looking round for an escape route when they entered because she knew IT’S! ABOUT! TO! GO! DOWN! But. That’s. Just. Me. I don’t know much but what I do know is Juicy stayed seated.  I’m sure she used the “I wasn’t going to stoop to her level” excuse, that’s what everyone uses when you shook LMAO!  But when you see a bull in the china shop you quietly keep it moving.

Now I’m going to start my eulogy with giving ona to our lawd, the CCBA (cluck chicken and bang administration, of Americas), Ladies and gents sorry we had to gather under these circumstances, but when Minnie mama lifted that plate to throw, I knew then the world was coming to an end.  I thought “what animal would do that to some innocent, seasoned wangs” Like who does that?  Wheres PETA? I damn near started a hashtag on twidda #wingslifematter and #bangslivesmatter while you bullshattin! Someone has to be a voice for the voiceless.  We have to stop the destruction of our food and bangs.  It was truly upsetting and then to see the sauce dripping from her edges…I was on the phone like “hello CCBA we have a serious crime in progress and I need to file a report…her name is Minnie mama and she at the spot justa slangin wangs everywur”  GIRL!  And to see Juicy just sittin there trying to preserve what dignity she had left with sauce drippin from her bangs. No No No ma’am!!!  Poor poor Juicy just sitting there with the nervous chuckle, barely escaping with her edges and more importantly RIP #wingslivesmatter and #bangslivesmatter, y’all didn’t do nuffin to nobody *fights air* and Juicy we know you would’ve left but them producers said “stay yo ass right there we need more footage…”

How about I was so tired of rewinding that scene crying out of sadness for them limp bangs and pure foolishness, trying to figure out who was on the main line for poor Juicy…Olivia Pope is on hiatus and Trump is rewriting Melania’s speech, he busy. I know Juicy stylist was like “we ain got no shampoo for buffalo wing sauce, we gonna pre poo you with a bottle a ranch first…”

Oh well, that’s enough messiness for the day Plus my glass low.  The reception is immediately following the froonal and there will be free pressing combs and 3 wangs per person please.

Gotta go, my glass empty

image

What about this episode cracked you up? Tell me in the comments below so I can CTHU! 😂